My Summer Pony Tail

I whisper your name in silence,
so softly that I cannot hear it myself…

A denial of my love, a betrayal of my own heart…
Just to let it be known, that it still yearns for you.

I breath the fresh air that I thought would give me freedom,
but to hear your voice…


I am still captured with intoxication of the love we have shared.

In this life…

we have such small chosen bits that are offered for purity and simplicity.

What we have shared had filled those empty masks
that were missing the elements of what souls bind with.

You found me, you filled me….
But now I whisper your name in silent darkness
where I can only see you in my dreams.

                                                                                     ~KANA

Years ago, my  memoir 

When I would see him, hear his voice, I would become flooded with feelings from the past, feeling from what once was magical between us.

This Summer Pony Tail, was for me now… the masks were still missing the elements that binds souls. I pulled my hair back, took a moment to breath in that same fresh air and look in the mirror.  I now no longer have those dreams of someone that never really existed.

It is painful when you awake and find that you loved the unlovable….

 

Each Source Offers a Different Narcissist Supply

Yes, the Narcissist has a superior talent and ability to obtain resources. One should consider their expertise in this way of life. They need to have a source of narcissistic supply to survive. There is always more than one!

Narcissist have developed the tools needed to obtain from each and every victim what it is that they need. Their need for “Narcissistic Supply” is imperative when they need it!

You are NEVER the only one! There is ALWAYS another one waiting in the wings. They always have one in site or lined up. This New Supply is being prepared to fill in when you don’t and can’t. You very well are the other one for another now. That one thing or  need you may fill for the Narcissist… that one special thing that you have been chosen to fulfill in their life… is your purpose for them. You provide that narcissistic supply for which they require to survive.

Whatever it is that you offer falls into the never ending black pit of a person with this personality disorder. No matter the contribution that you make it will never fill their black hole.

Beware!!

Always have your eyes open! Know that there really is another that will fill those shoes. Another victim awaiting for your shoe to drop, so they can fill it! They too will think that they are special, that they are the “ONE”, but really there is no “ONE”, there are many!

There is no possible way that any one person can fulfill the needs of a Narcissist. The Narcissist requires many sources to satisfy their needs for attention, adoration with a variety of sex, intelligence, status and personal prosperity.

The only solace you may find is knowing this, the other is no different than you, just another victim to the same prey.

If you dare to be jealous or envious, don’t be! Once you see the story that you have lived from the outside, its sad, hurtful and it becomes hauntingly obvious how the cycles repeat. The same story, different Actors and Actresses.

The New Supply or another source of Narcissistic Supply will receive the same treatment and suffer the same cycle. It never fails!

Lost in Cognitive Dissonance with a Narcissist?

“Cognitive Dissonance”, knowing the right from wrong and still trying to justify the wrong to be right… even though it makes no sense, not even to yourself.

 

Each Source Offers a Different Narcissist Supply There is ALWAYS More Than One!

Yes, The Narcissist has a superior talent and ability to obtain resources. One should consider their expertise in this way of life.

Narcissist have developed the tools needed to obtain from each and every victim what it is that they need for their “Narcissistic Supply”, when they need it!

You are NEVER the only one! There is ALWAYS another one waiting in the wings, being lined up and prepared to fill in when and where you don’t and can’t. You very well are the other one for another now. That one thing, that one need you may fill for the Narcissist… that one special thing that you have been chosen to fulfill in their life… is your purpose for them.

Whatever it is that you give, know that it falls into the never ending black pit of a person with this personality disorder, and no matter the contribution that you make, it will never fill that hole.

Beware!!

Always have your eyes open! Know that there really is another that will fill those shoes. Another victim awaiting for your shoe to drop, so they can fill it! They too will think that they are special, that they are the “ONE”, but really there is no “ONE”, there are many!

There is no possible way that any one person can fulfill the needs of a Narcissist. The Narcissist requires many sources to satisfy their needs for attention, adoration with a variety of sex, intelligence, status and personal prosperity.

The only solace you may find is knowing this, the other is no different than you, just another victim to the same prey.

If you dare to be jealous or envious, don’t be! Once you see the story that you have lived from the outside, its sad, hurtful and it becomes hauntingly obvious how the cycles repeat. The same story, different Actors and Actresses.

The New Supply or Other Supply will receive the same treatment and suffer the same cycle. It never fails!

Lost in Cognitive Dissonance with a Narcissist?

“Cognitive Dissonance”, knowing the right from wrong and still trying to justify the wrong to be right… even though it makes no sense, not even to yourself.