My Summer Pony Tail

I whisper your name in silence,
so softly that I cannot hear it myself…

A denial of my love, a betrayal of my own heart…
Just to let it be known, that it still yearns for you.

I breath the fresh air that I thought would give me freedom,
but to hear your voice…


I am still captured with intoxication of the love we have shared.

In this life…

we have such small chosen bits that are offered for purity and simplicity.

What we have shared had filled those empty masks
that were missing the elements of what souls bind with.

You found me, you filled me….
But now I whisper your name in silent darkness
where I can only see you in my dreams.

                                                                                     ~KANA

Years ago, my  memoir 

When I would see him, hear his voice, I would become flooded with feelings from the past, feeling from what once was magical between us.

This Summer Pony Tail, was for me now… the masks were still missing the elements that binds souls. I pulled my hair back, took a moment to breath in that same fresh air and look in the mirror.  I now no longer have those dreams of someone that never really existed.

It is painful when you awake and find that you loved the unlovable….

 

A Sleeping Soul Awakens…

It’s early morning… I stood outside for just a moment,
looking toward the sky searching for answers.

So many memories embraced me.
So much to awaken a sleeping soul…

The chill in the air is crisp and smells sweet…
Thoughts of how life experiences help create us, but don’t define us.
Each step taken is greater than our last.
Today, unlike yesterdays… have new meanings.
But none, if not for the old…

We can bring what yesterday has given us along,
Hopes of creating new dreams and paths to follow.
Only the shadows that whisper in the wind are stories of long ago…

Tomorrow’s will embrace a future
and each day forward creates more memories to hold precious with a wiser heart.
Clarity and meaning will come with the transitioning to a new...

Oh yes, I can remember this day from long ago.
It changed the wind in my sails that has taken on a new course…

Beneath these once fragile wings, the winds whisper of memories and each has its way of giving courage and strength to allow me to fly once again…

~ KANA (c. 2019)

A Narcissist Valentine’s Day With No Trust Left To Give

Narcissist Valentine’s Day….

~ None the different than days gone by…
There is no fixing this, no matter the try ~

This couldn’t be more true… fighting the fear to trust again, when the fear comes from such tragic extremes. We are strong to be redefined without fear, but with an inner strength we thought was lost, is found and re-birthed once more…

Amen to this I say… alive, still here and searching for all the secure future foundations to rebuild, while watching each step closely before taken.

Thank you for the reminder, but you can keep your flowers and apologies, they mean nothing anymore…

A Narcissist Valentine’s Day Awakening With No Trust Left To Give

Valentine’s Day….

~ None the different than days gone by… There is no fixing this, no matter the try ~

This couldn’t be more true… fighting the fear to trust again, when the fear comes from such tragic extremes. We are strong to be redefined without fear, but with an inner strength we thought was lost, is found and re-birthed once more…

Amen to this I say… alive, still here and searching for all the secure future foundations to rebuild, while watching each step closely before taken.

Thank you for the reminder, but you can keep your flowers and apologies, they mean nothing anymore…