Drop The Pocket Watch

We could have had it all, but yet you settled… again… on a false bottomed, BS facade of a life… a never ending black hole…

I’ll never understand this part of you and only wish you valued life so much more. I came home and my past swarmed around me, with a peaceful reminder of how valuable I am, my heart, my soul… I wonder over and over, how and why did I ever give them to you when you don’t even value your own. I have always seen so much more in you, than I believe you have ever even seen in yourself. As I am reminded by all that I know here, what a better life I once had, before I ran after that insane rabbit, down that twisty turning, convoluted hole… I clawed and cried as I did, just to have the strength to climb from the darkness, but for some reason, I wanted to bring that crazy rabbit with me…

Didn’t you want that? Didn’t you want to climb from the shadowed illusions that came alive in that twisted tunnel? It only leads to more diverted paths, don’t you know? A journey of success, unconditional love and peace can’t be found there rabbit… Wasn’t that all once your goal??

This is why I have uprooted myself once more, to see clearly, and now I do. Come out of that tunnel on your own…. Please, waste no more time… I once wanted you here with me… I wanted you so desperately to see clearly… I believed in you…. I hated the frustration of wanting to resurrect you from a world deformed. I once felt you were a piece of me in a certain way and I so desperately wanted you always to share in a different version of life that I know you have never seen….

Nivens McTwisp, stop playing with time… it is only wasted in that fashion…. Your 55 and now it’s time for you to awake…

Erased

The days turn to nights, and nights to days
The first sign of light, the challenges raised
To love with every beat, my heart dares to take
My mind rips apart the moment I wake
I’ve loved you from the moment, I looked into your eyes
Never did I think, you’d be riddled with lies
A man that so many have tried to posses
Has left a path of stories that have yet to be professed
I’ve dreamt of you a lifetime, hoping to find
A gentle man that loved me, that was good and kind
Never would I have thought that life would disguise
The pain that was hidden far beneath those eyes
I held you so closely, to my breast as you sleep
To feel the peace rise, from the days that repeat
The cycles turn swiftly, our nights in your head
As one tries to love you, aside you in bed
My soul was opened, doors having no key
For there is no one else to compare to for me
We’ve danced in the moonlight and made love to the songs
Of every moment in life, even the ones that’ve gone wrong
You know not why I love you, I have made my plea
But my words are all broken and you no longer hear me
You are in my dreams, my gentle man I say
I beg you to remember and not walk away
Know that I love you, for all that we are
The years passed quickly, but haven’t changed us so far
I know that you love me as you remind me you do
But then you push me away for something to do?
How many times I’ve heard you love me too much
But when I share the same you tell me not such
Your words are twisted, and actions run wild
While I stand here watching, feeling as lost as a child
I can never be what repairs you, for your life lived in the past
I only have to offer this role I’ve been cast
To feel empty in love, while you run your path
Knowing all that I have given can be erased in a wrath
Please hear me, please know… I’m as confused as you
For all that I say, and all that I do…
Was for you